In the Prologue (xxiii; 2nd Ed.) Taleb states: "The central idea of this book concerns our blindness with respect to randomness, particularly the large deviations. Why do we, scientists or nonscientists, hot shots or regular Joes, tend to see the pennies instead of the dollars? Why do we keep focusing on the minutiae, not the possible significant large events, in spite of the obvious evidence of their huge influence? And, if you follow my argument, why does reading the newspaper actually decrease your knowledge of the world.
It is easy to see that life is the cumulative effect of a handful of significant shocks."
I must tell you that I am a pennies kinda guy. I get lost in the small stuff. I lose sight of the BIG picture.
"Handful of significant shocks" means I can put a corral around them. Let me try.
1) My dad's death at a young age (39) has to top the list. I was nearly eight (8) when he died. I was watching Sid Ceasar with my mom on our TV when the local fire alarms sounded and my mom said from the sound that someone had a medical emergency. Several minutes later the doorbell rang and I went to answer it. I saw Dr H O'Hare and said hello and he asked if I could get my mother. I did so and I went back to watching the TV show. Then mom returned from the front door engrossed in tears and called me over to tell me that dad had died. Then adults - relatives and friends - began coming to the house and consoling my mom mostly as I really did not understand what had happened. Death was not a concept I knew or at least that I did not comprehend. To this day I can go back to that night and relive the experience.
2) My dog Debi, a german shepherd, was walking in the front yard with me looking at her from the inside of the house. She stops, looks me squarely in the eye, and drops over. I scream to my mom and we go outside with some adult or adults that she had called on the phone to find that she had died. My #1 friend gone. This was not too long after dad had died.
My conclusion from these two events was: "Those that I love leave or die." Now I was really scared that my mom was going to die too or that anyone I got close with would die.
3) My childhood friend, Mike Knowlton, was killed in a freakish train-car accident. Now Mike was older than me and we were not spending much time together as we ran with age mates more than neighborhood mates during this time. But it was still a significant and permanent loss of a friend.
4) The first love of my life, Linda Turben, was totally unexpected. I was terribly insecure and overcompensated because of my insecurity. I broke off our relationship very badly and immaturely. To this day and to her credit, we're still friends.
5) My first marriage disintegrated for any numbers of reasons. We had two beautiful children from our relationship. It took me a long time to deal with this failure but once I wrapped it up inside my head I never turned back. This was not how marriage and my life was supposed to go but it did anyway. I stayed in the marriage for the kids for several years but eventually that reason lost its hold on me. It was not a good divorce and it was disruptive to the lives of our kids. It's one of their "significant shocks."
6) I fell in love with my wife Carol just as quickly as one possibly can. She had been divorced for three years or more when we met. There were four girls from her first marriage so when we combined we were "eight-z-nuff". Combining two families was a challenge for all concerned - wife, kids, and husband. We all made sacrifices some easier than others. We kept active in our faith and within the first year of our marriage we were granted annulments by the Catholic Church and thus able to be full sacramental participants. All the kids are grown adults with their own children -- 13 grandchildren for us.
So I've been married for 43 years total: 13 years in the first marriage and 30 years in my "real" marriage as Carol likes to call it. She was married for 10 years in her first marriage and 30 years in her "real" marriage.
7) In the mid 1980's Carol was diagnosed with kidney cancer. She was selected for an experimental program at UCLA. In addition to the original cancer she acquired "rebound leukemia" from the treatment which became the central focus after having dealt with the original kidney cancer. The program with God as the Overseer saved her life. She endured so much during her treatment it is hard to put to words. Her gift of life was never in question for her because she had FAITH and could not conceive of leaving her girls. Many miracles occurred during her treatment and her doctor was truly an angel sent to her from God.
8) Our daughter Kristin's first husband (Charlie) and high school sweetheart died unexpectedly at age 32 in 1999. Total shock. The two boys from their marriage were 10 years old and 8 years old when Charlie died. Charlie was our first son-in-law and he was astounding. He was beloved by all our kids and left a huge void in our circle.
So with God at my side, my "...life is the culmination of a handful of significant shocks."
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